Tuesday, March 1, 2011

World Wide Worriment

What’s up with all of these “urgent” cyber tasks for which I am suddenly responsible?  Obviously, I am like the frog in simulated soup that is heated slowly…I suddenly realized today that the demands of life at Technology Central are boiling me alive!  Throughout the course of the average day, I receive approximately 50 emails (business), 20 emails (personal), 30 instant messages, and 15 Facebook notifications.  Does the madness end?  NO, not even on Sunday…I reminisce about the days, only a year or so ago, when I could actually play Spider Solitaire at work…without beeps and dings interrupting my game…when I could leisurely vacuum and mop my floors at home without alarms and bells…when having five friends--in person--meant I was loved and popular, instead of the 300 avataristic acquaintances to whom I feel pressured to send virtual birthday wishes…that is like almost one a day! (My math…just roll with it).  

Anyway, for Lent, I am seriously considering ditching the Internet.  What could possibly happen…I mean, the pioneers did without the Information Highway.  Of course, there was that pesky and treacherous Oregon Trail to traverse.  They lived in sod dwellings with dirt floors, had to kill wild game for food and cook it on an open fire, dealt with lawlessness on a day-to-day basis, and more than likely had scurvy, but what the hell?  Every generation has its demons.  They didn’t have to respond to the ever-growing red exclamation points that now dot my inbox messages.

So what are the worst things that could happen by giving up the Internet for 40 days?   Let’s see…I would definitely be unemployed, disowned by family and friends, involuntarily committed, and perhaps erroneously labeled a “recluse.”   Of course, the possibility of being smote down by God for using time devoted to Christ’s suffering for my own selfish whim for cyber-silence would certainly be a major con.  Maybe one day?  That’s more like it…or eight hours…perhaps...Yeah, whatever.   

A. Ballerina

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